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The matriarchs in my family have always centered their day around bathing. There’s my 93-year-old Danish grandmother, who has long subscribed to the daily ritual of sitting in shallow lukewarm water.

Do you ever sink into a hot bath and think to yourself, "Man, I just really wish this was more like a giant vat of Smuckers infused with seaweed?" Honestly, neither do we. But we like to keep an open ...