Fresh from high level cabinet meetings, Prime Minister Mark Carney has come up with a brand new plan to address the nation’s housing crisis–hire the Amish. “I’m sure they can raise a few thousand ...

After pressure from the country’s Mennonite population, the government of Canada has decided to reallocate its entire military budget into efforts to promote peace and pacifism. “Our goal is to spend ...

Bethany Seibel, 23, of Wymark, Saskatchewan is set to become the first Mennonite woman ever to participate in the Labour Day Classic this weekend. “Yup, they’re inducing labour on Sunday. I tried to ...

Conservative leader and new Battle River-Crowfoot MP Pierre Poilievre has been taking Plautdietsch lessons in the small Mennonite town of Stettler, Alberta this week. This after several constituents ...

It was an embarrassing moment for two androids at a Björk concert this week, as they were caught in full embrace on the kiss cam. “I really don’t like to embarrass people or even robots, for that ...

In the new reboot of the Jurassic Park franchise, producers have decided to set the movie in Morden and include the most intimidating villain of all time, a group of zealous fundamenalists trying to ...

Nearly thirty congregants at the local Mennonite church had to go home early this Sunday after partaking in communion with some pretty sketchy looking crackers. “We’ve been using the same box of ...

Area woman Samantha Kroeker, 38, was really looking forward to seeing Mavis Staples at Folk Fest this evening, but had to go back to Altona with her tail between her legs after she forgot to wear her ...

In an effort to “balance religious freedoms with the need to protect our children,” the Alberta Ministry of Edumacation has decided to churn out snazzy new Bibles that exclude anything that might be ...

A lowly donkey named Herbert has been named the official mascot of the Mennonites this week after replacing the previous mascot of a guy named Dave wearing a farmer sausage suit. “As much as we liked ...

Area man Johan Kroeker stopped by his local farm implements dealership looking for an upgrade to his 1893 Massey Harris. “Yeah, well, I figured it was time,” said Kroeker. “My Martha even told me, ...

Area woman Olga Sawatzky, 61, is very impressed with her garden this year and says she’s especially excited to be one-quarter of a popular Simon and Garfunkel song. “Not that I listen to that ‘behind ...